Match reports are supplied by the inimitable Hori Bop.

Pitch invasion halts Quenchie onslaught

Perfect conditions for old mans rugby greeted the Quenchie traveling army on Saturday for what was expected to present a victory against the Eltham tens outfit.

A gentle breeze on an overcast day with some give in the ground to reduce the spate of hard tissue injuries was the good news on arrival at Eltham. The bad news was, Eltham numbers had doubled and were going through a highly drilled and organized pre-match warm up. Shades of the late nineties Eltham sides, said Big Phil.

This was going to be no easy walk up, Carl stay at the club she’ll re right without you we’ll grab the 4 points. No siree.

First kickoff for the match, from Jif out of retirement, hopefully not for long said Mad Dog Maskery, went about 2 metres over the line.

Was the Burdett mantra of kick it al all costs going to backfire today and the Eltham running game going to have the quenchie measure? queried Hunting Dog Hughes, fresh from the Valleys of Ebbw Beaconsfeild.

Eltham scored 2 tries to nil in the first half. The 2nd half was a try apiece with the Quenchies scoring the last after some sweeping attacking runs by the Major quenchie attacking weapons the Ramage brothers, Nathan and Aaron. Nathan scoring in the corner to expose Jifs lack of kicking length even further. Slab due within 2 weeks thank you very much.

Apart from a few defensive errors leading to Eltham individuals waltzing through for tries, there were plenty of valiant tackles made,none more so than evergreen Denis’s tackle from behind to stop a run away try. “Denis likes tackles from behind” noted Pommie Paul, out for the week with a stomach dis-order, according to his chiropractor.

Solid games by the Quenchie powerhouse backrow with the hit of the day to Pieter Van Mueller(major sponsor-for all your micro-system needs) that started to change the momentum of the game. Yes the Prof was limbering up ready for his super-sub last 15minutes to bring the game home for the quenchies.

But in a desparate attempt to salvage the game from what looked to be an avalanche of Quenchie tries someone in the Eltham clubhouse must have come up with the desparate but clever guise to call an ambulance. Sure enough ,sirens sounding, lights flashing, onto the ptich came an ambulance with no doubt a helicopter and police car support nearby.

After a protracted forward hugging get to know each other episode, forward General Ian Saunders, knowing all to well the fines involved for falsely calling on the forces of good, said “Look I’ll stay down and impersonate a really injured person, just don’t make me laugh”, not hard with this mob said Browny.

So while helping protect the coffers of a battling footy club Ian unwittingly brought about the end of the match, and the end of Box Hills certain victory.

Yes there was to be no injection of the dangerous matchwinner Burdett, held back for the first time since 5th grade.

Ian was left to ponder this fact at the rooms that night after several glasses of painkiller and match debate about what awards he might receive later in the year,

Over and Out

Tana Bop

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